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"Dumbledore probably is dead tho"

Essay: You Can’t Spell OTP without OotP: An Essay in Ronbledore Apologetics

Earlier this month, J.K. Rowling finally admitted that Ron and Hermione should not have ended up together. While this led us to ponder what alternate endings Rowling might have secretly preferred, it offered powerful support for the once-maligned Ronbledore Theory, which maintains that Ron is Dumbledore, and at some point went back in time to live the majority of his life as the eldest son of Percival and Kendra Dumbledore.

The truth of the Ronbledore Theory has by now been pretty well established, but I would like to shore up its foundations with some new evidence, evidence that will help explain why Ronbledore went back in time, as well as—roughly—when.

Essay: ‘Unplottable’ is Unpossible

In Harry Potter, places like Hogwarts are hidden from unwelcome eyes with a number of protective enchantments. One of these enchantments makes the building unplottable, and so — apparently — incapable of being plotted on a map.

This may seem impossible, and when we think through it carefully we’ll see that it basically is. A coherent notion of unplottability cannot not say anything about what I can and can’t draw on a piece of paper. Witches and wizards might, however, try to stop people from learning the location of Hogwarts from that piece of paper — the information can be encoded, but it may be possible with magic to prevent it from being transmitted.

But ultimately this won’t be enough to prevent us from using maps to find Hogwarts. Unplottability is a scam that doesn’t really work.

Essay: There’s No Such Thing as the Trace in Harry Potter

Much is made in Harry Potter about “the Trace”, the charm on underage witches and wizards that is used by the Ministry to detect illegal spellwork. The problem is that there is no such thing.

Essay: The complete guide to wand ownership in Harry Potter

Until Deathly Hallows, we all thought Expelliarmus was just a nifty spell that causes people to drop their wands and sometimes knocks them over (which is why we had all those Tower Truthers saying that Dumbledore wasn’t dead). But then it turns out that it’s totally bonkers. Apparently disarming someone actually transfers their wand’s loyalty to you.

This is totally bonkers because everybody disarms everybody at some point. So to figure out whose wand is whose and what really happened, let’s catalog every instance of disarming ever!