Dudebros as a sublime expression of the absurd (or: proving @shanley’s point without realizing it)

Alex Dunn

3 September 2013

Today @shanley wrote a great piece that was made even greater because of the people on Twitter who rose to the challenge of proving her points for her.

And right on cue, Dudebros @leashless and @chrisbeach and others are now literally doing the exact thing @shanley wrote that Dudebros do.

— Faruk Ateş (@KuraFire) September 3, 2013

Shanley:

When I talk about oppression, patriarchy and my experiences in tech, I can feel many things. I may feel sad, amused, jovial, excited, creative, expressive, calm, eager, curious, playful, afraid. How do you know the contents of my inner emotional life through 140 characters, a 4-minute blog post, or a 20-minute speech? You don’t, but that doesn’t really matter, after all. No, to you, I’m just angry.

Now the dudebros:

Men with anger issues like this are called assholes https://t.co/kihKzHZDS0 Women with these kinds of anger issues can hide behind Feminism.

— Vinay Gupta (@leashless) September 3, 2013

.@thomas_lord @pawzilla @metaAnnelies Gupta's seen many good men take real personal damage from women with personal issues crying Feminism.

— Vinay Gupta (@leashless) September 3, 2013

Shanley:

Of course, none of these men bother to ask women how they are actually feeling, even as they fall all over themselves calling her angry. Because what she actually feels is irrelevant. Calling a woman angry isn’t about identifying or empathizing with her emotions. It’s about shaming, humiliating, debasing, policing and discrediting her.

Dudebros:

What I'd LOVE to see is a non-disempowering, non-asshole way to say “hey your personal anger is interfering with your effectiveness”

— Vinay Gupta (@leashless) September 3, 2013

I'm looking for something that could be said, in a time of conflict, to alert somebody to a place where they're hurting themselves in anger.

— Vinay Gupta (@leashless) September 3, 2013

Shanley:

But sometimes I am angry. And I stand by my anger, all of it, every day. Here’s your daily reminder that women are violently, disproportionally, systematically and systemically raped, stalked, harassed, assaulted, molested, beaten, underpaid, underpromoted, silenced, erased, gaslighted, maltreated and objectified. And that is a very partial list among a host of other institutionalized abuses. If you think it’s inappropriate to be angry, you have a fundamental misunderstanding of the problem.

Dudebros:

.@alexstapleton No, I'm saying this is a person with an anger problem channelling their anger into a socially acceptable (if abusive) form.

— Vinay Gupta (@leashless) September 3, 2013

@pawzilla I'm interested in gender-blind integration in tech. Not pitting men vs. women as militant feminists like @shanley do

— Chris Beach (@chrisbeach) September 3, 2013

@alexstapleton @leashless I have to say that although I generally agree with @shanley I stopped reading her stuff because of all the vitriol

— Russ Garrett (@russss) September 3, 2013

Shanley:

[B]elieve me that being a father and husband sure as fuck doesn’t mean that you’re not a misogynist pig merrily derailing, slandering and damaging while you roll about in the slop of your white male privilege. And frankly, I don’t give a damn about how many women you know if you’re just going to use them as silent props to protect you from the Big Bad Feminists, and from taking any responsibility whatsoever for your words and actions.

Dudebros:

@exiledsurfer @Grimeandreason @pawzilla @metaAnnelies Note that my guru was a woman: I've lived and worked under absolue female powers

— Vinay Gupta (@leashless) September 3, 2013

@exiledsurfer @Grimeandreason @pawzilla @metaAnnelies “my guru was a woman” doesn't mean much to most non-Hindus but it's huge in my world

— Vinay Gupta (@leashless) September 3, 2013

Shanley:

If you think my post about messed up startup culture is about your startup, my post about incompetent business teams is about your business team, my post about bad managers is about managers in your company, my post about white men are about you, specifically, as a white man

Well, that says a fuck of a lot more about you and your company than it does about my writing.

Dudebros:

@alexstapleton do you enjoy being called a “rapist”? I didn't. It's an absurd post

— Chris Beach (@chrisbeach) September 3, 2013

@leashless @alexstapleton It's an uncontrolled, blanket-accusative, contradictory rant from @shanley that does nothing for her cause

— Chris Beach (@chrisbeach) September 3, 2013

Dear @shanley, when you use hateful sweeping generalizations to get others to stop making hateful sweeping generalizations. You've given up.

— Cody Brown (@CodyBrown) September 3, 2013

@shanley @eevee It is quite vitriolic, and that accusatory, aggressive tone doesn't help, especially in the “not about you” section.

— kshade (@kshade_hyaena) September 3, 2013

Shanley:

I have actively participated in bro culture within this industry, with all of its casual misogyny, racism and homophobia. I’m guilty of uncritically benefiting from white supremacy and helping to construct it. And I am guilty of being myopically concerned about my own oppression. I’m very early in my own personal path, but I’m getting better every day.

And I keep trying.

Dudebros:

@shanley just looks a bit attention-seeking, particularly your enjoyment of the response. If you cared about the cause, you'd write better

— Chris Beach (@chrisbeach) September 3, 2013

Good work today, everyone.


Tell me how I’m a white knight muppet on Twitter.